What if his addiction saved me?

Growing up I suffered from depression and my brother suffered from addiction as I watched the movie "To write love on her arms" I was hit by the thought, what if his addiction saved me?! 

Because of his addiction I never wanted to even try drugs or alcohol, being afraid of what power they might have over me. There were times when I got so down I wanted to give it a try and I would have gone down that path, far down that path. But everytime I thought "that" another thought followed, "there has to be another way through". I look back at the possibilities my life could have been if I wasn't struggling with this illness, and wishing I could be stronger or a little more selfless. I regret the things I am unable to do. But after thinking "what if his addiction saved me?" I have thought thru the other person struggling with addiction I could have been and decided I am grateful that he did "protect" me. Not in the traditional sense, but he did without knowing, and I feel like I can now fully forgive him. He saved my life after all.